her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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