Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize