I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
