i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
