Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
