is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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