You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
