He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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