He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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