Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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