Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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