we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
