so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
