I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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