After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is Oprah even human
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
