Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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