Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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