I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
