I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just invented taco cereal.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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