Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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