I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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