respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
