Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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