dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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