I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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