I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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