Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
