new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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