So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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