Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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