Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
