i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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