My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
