So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
