i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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