I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
