If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
