Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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