Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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