I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
