Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
