One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
