As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
