You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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