her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
