I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
