She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Even my vagina gasped.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
