please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
