i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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