margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
