Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
