Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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